Revenge of the Island: The Chris Head Sagas
by TotalDramaKingdomHearts
Summary: Picking off after Ice Ice Baby and B's elimination, here's my continuation of Total Drama: Revenge of the Island! I'll be putting my own spin on the episodes, and between them, have the contestants search for the Chris Head. So please enjoy readers! Mi/Zo
1. Chapter 1

The Toxic Rats shuffled back to the cabins; while there was nothing notable going on with Dawn or Lightning, Scott and Sam seemed particularly happy.

* * *

><p><strong>Scott:<strong> Finally, good old Bev is off the island! This is just what I needed. The rest of the team is putty in my hands!

**Sam:** Um, well, Dakota is back now, so that's kind of totally awesome. Now is the time to start asking her out until I finally wear her down!

* * *

><p>Upon reaching the cabins, Cameron, who'd been sitting on the Mutant Maggots porch with Brick, noticed the absence of one Silent B. "So B got eliminated this night?" he asked sullenly.<p>

Lightning shrugged. "Hey, _I_ didn't vote for him, but the big guy did go down, like shabam!"

With a sly grin, Scott added, "And guess what else? Dakota is back!"

"What? But she was previously eliminated! That is in direct violation of the rules!" Brick exclaimed.

"Hehe, only as an intern, guys," Sam commented. "No need to worry about the threat of her beauty – I mean, um.."

* * *

><p><strong>Anne Maria<strong>: That blonde fame-monger is back? Oh, Chris will be hearing from _me_ about this!

* * *

><p>As Jo, Zoey, Anne Maria, and Mike walked out onto the porch, Scott headed away from camp and into the forest.<p>

"Hey, where's gingerboy off to all by himself at night?" Jo called out suspiciously.

Scott chose to ignore the question, continuing to head off. Dawn, however, decided to answer. "His orange aura is flickering with dark streaks, suggesting that he is up to something devious!"

Lost in thought, Mike absently wondered, "What's that psycho going to do in the forest at night? Search for some bugs or something?"

"That's it!" Cameron exclaimed as everyone turned to him. "Searching for something! He's obviously doing what Chris mentioned when we arrived here – searching for the McLean-Brand Chris Head that the holder may use at any bonfire to save themselves from elimination, resulting in immunity!"

He hadn't even finished speaking before Lightning quickly raced after Scott, screaming, "Lighting will get his hands on that head! Shabam!"

"If the Rats are searching, so should we! Maggots, move out!" Jo called shrilly, and she too took off into the forest, with Brick fast behind her.

This left Sam, Cameron, Mike, Zoey, Dawn, and Anne Maria at the cabins. "Hey, I don't know about you guys, but I need my beauty sleep! Fugget about that stupid Chris Head thing, I'm going to bed!" Anne Maria moved back into her cabin.

"I don't see what the big deal is either," Sam confessed. "It's just a head!"

"But," Cameron interjected, "It might be useful to someone one day! It's a valuable resource to anyone who finds it!"

* * *

><p><strong>Mike<strong>: Okay, I'd love to get my hands on that thing! Chester, Svetlana, Vito – they're going to mess things up for me somehow, so I could sure use it as a backup plan.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Zoey, why don't we check out the rest of camp? Chris might've been sneaky and hid it somewhere here!" Mike said to Zoey with a toothy grin.<p>

Zoey coldly turned her shoulder. "Are you sure I don't need an appointment?"

* * *

><p><strong>Zoey<strong>: I'll admit it; I was hurt today in the challenge. Mike just shoved me away and flirted with Anne Maria! I thought he was different…

* * *

><p>"Um… no?" Mike replied unconfidently.<p>

Wanting to help out Mike, Cameron said, "Zoey, it might be beneficial in the future! It wouldn't hurt if we all banded together in search of it."

With a shrug, Zoey led the two boys off towards the mess hall, with Mike giving Cameron a thumbs up.

* * *

><p><strong>Cameron:<strong> I may not know much about love… or relationships… or girls… or the real world… or, um, human interaction… but Mike and Zoey are my friends! It's my duty to help them when they're in trouble.

* * *

><p>"Uh, how about you, Dakota?" Sam asked, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm not one for searching or exercising or running or walking or physical exertion, but if everyone else is looking for it…"<p>

"My name isn't Dakota, silly. I'm Dawn!" Dawn replied.

Sam blushed. "Sorry, Dawn."

"I can tell by the way your aura flickers that you're excited about Dakota's return to the island."

* * *

><p><strong>Sam:<strong> Am I really _that_ obvious?

* * *

><p>"Um, yeah. I'm kinda psyched about it," Sam confessed.<p>

Dawn smiled at Sam. "Don't worry, I'm sure this time the relationship won't end with you farting on a date. Your aura is silver and hers is gold. They mesh perfectly!" Strolling towards the forest after the others, she added, "Well, let's get searching! Nature will point us in the right direction!"

With a sigh and a small grin, Sam followed after her, adding, "Nature hopefully has a snack bar, because I could really go for some grub!

* * *

><p><strong>Author<strong>: Well, I too wanted to get in on the Total Drama Revenge of the Island bandwagon, and thus this story was borne! This search for the Chris Head will act as waiting chapters in-between episode releases so I'll have something to write, and I'll try to stay faithful to the season, but we all know we've got our own personal touches we'd love to put on it. I don't own Total Drama, I hope I stay faithful to the characters, and I hope you all enjoy it!

Whoa, whoa, whoa – T.D.


	2. Chapter 2

"Shaboom! Shapow! ShaLIGHTNING!" Lightning exclaimed as he ran through the forest, after Scott.

Jo, who'd only been a few feet behind him, caught up and passed him. "Looks like you're going to lose to a girl – again! Ha!"

Looking around confused, Lightning shook his head. "What? Girl? Lightning don't see no girl! No girl gonna take down the Lightning!"

"Ma'am, requesting permission to sass talk?" Brick asked, hurrying along after them.

"Position granted, Brick!" Jo answered with a snide laugh.

* * *

><p><strong>Jo:<strong> This guy's such a pushover! I can use him to find the Chris Head for me, and then just string him along until he runs out his usefulness. It's priceless!

**Brick:** I think Jo is a pretty good leader. She treats me like an equal, and she's a good sport. I'm glad to be under her leadership!

* * *

><p>"Sir, you're just like lightning – one flash and then you're gone!"<p>

"Lightning is more than just a flash! Lightning is the whole shaLIGHTNING!" Lightning exclaimed, flexing his muscles.

Rolling her eyes, Jo extended her foot, tripping Lightning, who knocked down Brick, and they both collapsed on the ground.

"Pick up the pace, soldier!" Jo called back behind her with an evil grin on her face.

* * *

><p>"Now where is that Chris Head?" Scott pondered as he walked through the forest. "Maybe it's up in a tree," he thought to himself, and began climbing the nearest one he could find.<p>

Halfway up, a woodpecker fluttered down on the branch next to Scott. "Oh, hey there little pecker thing, just leave old Scotty alone and there's no problem, okay?"

The woodpecker tilted his head before pecking Scott's arm violently.

"Hey! No! Stupid bird!" Scott shouted, picking it up and throwing it.

That seemed to irritate the bird, as it came back angrily shooting fire out of its mouth.

"AHHHH!" Scott exclaimed, hurriedly running away while his pants singed.

* * *

><p><strong>Scott<strong>: Okay, this search is not going to be easy. But it'll all be worth it when I find the Chris Head! It's all part of the plan.

* * *

><p>"Oh, god, Dawn!" Sam panted, his hands on his knees. He came to a slow halt. "How long have we been going? I'm so tired!"<p>

Dawn, meditating on the ground, replied, "We haven't even entered the forest yet, silly!" Some birds flocked over and sat upon her shoulders. "Really? Thank you for that tip, mister bird!"

"What's Tweety say?" Sam asked, stretching out his arms.

"Apparently, Scott is in trouble in the forest! We need to go help him!" Dawn raced off into the forest, being led by the bird.

Rolling his eyes, Sam chased after her, muttering, "Oh great, running! More running always running!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sam:<strong> In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the most 'physically fit' contestant here. So I think it'd be worth my while to find the Chris Head!

* * *

><p>Dakota tapped her foot impatiently at Chef. He'd taken her back to the staff tent. "Where is Chris? Why am I an intern? My daddy is rich!"<p>

Chef rolled his eyes. "Quiet, maggot!"

"I'm a Toxic _Rat_, actually!"

"Formerly!" Chris smirked as he walked in. "Formerly a Toxic Rat!"

Rolling her eyes, Dakota asked, "So what? My daddy is going to get me back in the game. I need my spin-off show!"

"Well sorry Dakota," Chris said to her, with no trace of sorrow in his voice or expressions. "Looks like you're going to be our newest unpaid intern! How's that for fun?"

"It isn't! At all! What do interns _do_, anyways?"

"Well," Chris began to explain, motioning to a series of video of video cameras on the wall, "Here are some video cameras! And there," he continued, pointing to Sam hurrying after Dawn, "Are some contestants! So you need to torment them. Ha!"

"Torment?" Dakota asked, aghast. "What if I break a nail or something? Like that's so not acceptable."

Agitated, with a roll of his eyes, Chris tossed her a suit with some little balls on it. "Whatever! Just put this on."

Eyeing it suspiciously, she wondered, "Is it fashion-friendly?"

"Forget fashion! God, at this rate we'd be better off with Ezekiel!" Scratching his chin, he called over to Chef, "Write that one down!"

"So what's the suit for, if not fashion? That's what outfits are for!"

"Well, this here is a special suit! It controls a super cool robot thingamawhatsit that you're going to use to scare the crap out of everyone on the island!"

"Now, this I could get behind!" Dakota clapped, thinking of Scott. "What kind of robot is it?"

Chris smirked. "The familiar kind! Aha! Ahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Um… okay…"

* * *

><p>Mike, Zoey, and Cameron entered into the mess hall. "I can't believe how uncomfortable these wooden stools are," Cameron complained. "Back home in my bubble, there's comfortable wrapping over everything!"<p>

Mike's eye spazzed out for a second, and then he closed one of his eyes and hunched his back. "Whippersnapper! Back in my day we sat on wooden stools for fun! Don't tell me about your comfortable bubble mammy-jammy!"

Zoey laughed, despite her hurt feelings. "Mike, I love your old man bit!"

* * *

><p><strong>Cameron:<strong> Chester the old man? I don't think that it's a bit. Mike shows symptoms of DID – or dissociative identity-

**Mike:** Oh god, Chester! Not Chester again! But at least Zoey isn't as mad at me anymore.

* * *

><p>Zoey strolled into the kitchen and opened up the fridge. "Maybe Chris had Chef guard the Chris Head! Nobody wants to mess with Chef."<p>

As Chester/Mike and Cameron walked over to her, she let out a high-pitched scream. "What is it Zoey? Rotten cheese? Oh that disgusts me too!"

Looming in, Cameron saw what made Zoey so frightened – it was a life-size human doll with abs, a pink shirt, and a big hat.

"Ah, that young man needs to eat more sprouts!" Chester/Mike nodded. "Too skinny! He needs some flubber!"

The doll rustled. "F-f-flubber, man? P-party h-h-hard! Whoo! W-W-Where's Brid-g-gette?"

"IT'S ALIVE! RUN!" Zoey exclaimed, shutting the fridge and flying out of the mess hall.

With a quick spasm, Mike regained his composure. "Zoey!" he called, and was about to race after her before being pulled back by Cameron. "Um, what's up, Cam?"

"It's okay if, um, you've got some issues," Cameron tried to put lightly. "Everyone has there problems, and you don't have to hide them from us. We'll support you!"

Mike laughed nervously. "Um, yeah, su- Zoey!" And the two ran out.

* * *

><p><strong>Mike<strong>: Is Cameron catching on? Oh no, oh no, oh no…

**Cameron:** I guess Mike isn't comfortable admitting about his dissociative-

**Zoey:** Okay, that was creepy with caps lock on! A talking human doll in the fridge? Good one, Chef…

* * *

><p>Anne Maria was trying to nap when she heard some rumbling coming from outside. "Which one of you dorks is messing up my sleep?" she cried out with a spray can in her hand. "Is it you Scott? I swear, I'll spray you stiff!"<p>

She opened the door and saw a giant green monster-Gozilla like thing standing there and grinning.

She slowly closed the door and went back into bed.

* * *

><p><strong>Dakota:<strong> I'm going to enjoy interning!

* * *

><p>Chris grinned into the camera. "Next time on Revenge of the Island: The Chris Head Sagas! Who will fall for each other? Who will fall on each other? Who will just plain fall? And will anyone find the Chris Head? Tune in next time!<p>

* * *

><p>I like this story, and I hope all of you people do too! Murrh. Did anyone appreciate that little cameo? I did. So this particular scenario should be wrapped up soon for the next episode of Revenge of the Island, but look forward to more humor, more romance, more Chester, more Dakota, and more rotten cheese!<p>

Whoa, whoa, whoa – T.D.


	3. Chapter 3

Dusting off his legs, Brick shakily rose to his feet. The tumble hadn't exactly been comfortable. He raised a hand to Lightning, but the jock just shook it off. "Lightning don't need no help from nobody!" he said haughtily, rising to his feet.

* * *

><p><strong>Brick<strong>: That kind of attitude would not have flown at the academy, no sir! When someone offers you help, you take it and say thank you!

**Lightning:** Lighting don't need help from no pants-peeing fool! Lightning helps himself to the shapow!

* * *

><p>Their conversation was interrupted by the sudden appearance of Anne Maria, who was flailing her arms wildly and running faster than the boys had ever seen her before. "This is not cool! If this is some kind of ridic challenge, I swear!"<p>

Brick and Lightning stared after her. "What do you suppose she was running from?" Brick wondered, scratching his head.

Seconds later, the giant green monster appeared.

"Um, Lightning would guess that she was running from _that_," Lightning replied shakily.

With a slow glance at each other, the two took after Anne Maria screaming.

* * *

><p><strong>Brick:<strong> I've seen things with the cadets, and I've peed my pants before, but – um, at further risk of embarrassing myself I won't continue… hehe…

* * *

><p>As the giant green monster was chasing Anne Maria, Brick, and Lightning through the forest, back at camp, Zoey, Mike, and Cameron were holding recon.<p>

"Well," Zoey started, "I'm certainly not checking back there any time soon!"

Mike and Cameron nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that blow-up doll thing… pretty freaking creepy!"

* * *

><p><strong>Mike<strong>: Okay, this is Total Drama, so I'd expect creepy, shocking, and disturbing things. But a talking, life-size, blow-up doll? Kind of discouraging.

* * *

><p>"Where shall we expand the horizons of our search now? Do we venture beyond the bubble of our comfort zone or do we hazard to go somewhere else?" Cameron inquired.<p>

Mike shrugged. "I'm game to keep going! We could all use that Chris Head for our own reasons. How 'bout you, Zo?"

* * *

><p><strong>Zoey<strong>: Zo! He just called me Zo! We've got cute nicknames now!... I mean, uh, strategically speaking, it'd be wise to keep looking, um..

* * *

><p>"I vote we turn in for the night," Zoey suggested. "Maybe relax, eat some marshmallows, cuddle by the campfire…"<p>

"Uh, what was that last one?" Mike asked.

"Fuddling by the lamp higher," Zoey covered with a laugh. "What else could I have possibly meant? Ha! Silly Mike!" She playfully tapped his shoulder.

And then he spazzed out for a second and ripped his shirt off. "Hey, baby girl, why you be touching the slice of the Vito? Vito is vital! Hey!"

* * *

><p><strong>Zoey:<strong> And all guys are _idiots_!

**Cameron:** Fuddling by the lamp higher? I'm suspecting that was sarcasm of some level! Oh, things can only get worse with Vito in the mix.

* * *

><p>Jo looked around the area. "Hmm, where could that Chris Head be? Stupid McLean, thinking he's clever by hiding it so out of the way. Well I'm Jo! I conquer everything! Oh yeah!"<p>

Except for the Jersey Shore Reject who just came out of nowhere and knocked her to the ground.

"Hey! Spray head! What do you think you're doing knocking into your team captain?" Jo angrily shouted.

Anne Maria raised her fist for a fight but shook herself out of it. "Pasty, I ain't got no time for you now! It's every guidette for themselves!"

As she took off running, Jo raised her arm in triumph. "And victory always goes to Jo! She makes the impossible Jopossible! She's got an amazing Jobility! Call me Jobi-Wan Kenobi!"

As Brick and Lightning came running past, sensing the challenge, she raced right after them. "What's the matter, boys? Scared all of the girls are ahead of you? Ha!"

* * *

><p><strong>Anne Maria<strong>: If Blondie McSteroids isn't the next one gone, I will personally kick her off of this island myself!

* * *

><p>"Captain Jo, ma'am, requesting permission to address directly!" Brick exclaimed with a firm salute.<p>

Rolling his eyes, Lightning interjected, yelling, "No time for formalities, fool! Lightning will sum up the issue! Giant monster chasing us! Run like shapow!"

Jo halted in her tracks.

* * *

><p><strong>Jo<strong>: The Jovincible? Run from danger? Ha!

* * *

><p>"You go on, boys! Let the girl show you up once more!"<p>

Without hesitation, the dudes ran off, with Lightning muttering, "What girl? Lightning don't see no girl!"

Jo walked up to the monster with oozing bravado. "What's up with you, monster?"

The monster picked her up in its hands and threw her up, soaring into the skies. She didn't come down.

* * *

><p>Chris laughed. "Nice touch, Dakota!"<p>

Dakota grinned. "I've wanted to do that for a while! Do I go after the others?"

"Nah, Brick's probably wet his pants already!" Chris scoffed. Pointing to a screen showing Dawn and Sam running, he commanded, "Go after them, my servant!"

She showed some hesitation in targeting Sam. "Uh, are you sure? Why not Scott? He's arrogant!"

"Woody Woodpecker over there is keeping pit-sniffer pretty busy. Go after them now! I commandedededidididlydidid you!"

* * *

><p><strong>Dakota:<strong> Grammar skills much, Chris?

* * *

><p>"Hurry Sam!" Dawn called. "I sense a large disturbance!"<p>

"Sure thing, madam Jedi," Sam called back to her, physically drained.

Dawn paused and made bird noises into the trees. Sharp chirps followed suit and she pointed, running and saying, "This way, Sam! Scott should be down here!"

Sam didn't get the chance to reply before he saw the gigantic monster.

"Um, Dawn? We might have the slightest of problems."

"Whatever could you mean?" Dawn asked curiously, turning around and seeing the huge monster. "Oh! It's so cute! Maybe it's friendly!"

Sam was flabbergasted as he tried to slowly back away from the monster; its eyes seemed to follow him, and it was shifting on its feet, crushing several trees with each move. "Friendly?" he whispered exasperatedly. "Dawn, this thing looked like it just walked out of the final level of Castle Monster Smasher Bashers IV: Return of the Castle Monster Smasher Bashers!"

Dawn strolled calmly up to it. "I think he's cute!" The monster bent its head down – crushing several trees and a squirrel or two – and purred (growled? Barked?) as Dawn pet his head. "See? Friendly!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sam:<strong> That girl sure is something else! I got goose bumps playing the _virtual_ version of Castle Monster Smasher Bashers IV: Return of the Castle Monster Smasher Bashers!

* * *

><p>Scott, severely singed and full of peck wounds, collapsed on the ground. He'd finally been able to shake off that demonic woodpecker, and he was dead tired.<p>

"Why do animals hate me so!" he screamed into the ground.

As he was lying there, somebody came running over and accidentally stepped on his head; before he could get up and yell at them, two more pairs of feet accidentally trampled him.

* * *

><p><strong>Scott:<strong> It's called personal boundaries, people. Ever heard of them? It doesn't even matter. Soon enough the master plan will be put into action, so no worries!

* * *

><p>"Ow!" he exclaimed, rising to the ground. "What was that about?"<p>

"AHH! NOT ANOTHER MONSTER! IT'S HIDEOUS!" Anne Maria exclaimed, crouching behind Lightning.

"No, fool girl!" Lightning replied, pushing Anne Maria off of him. "That's just Scott, looking all ruined-like. You look like you got the shapow kicked out of you!"

"If I may interject," Brick interrupted, speaking quickly, "There is still that monster pursuing us, and I have no desire to be monster food."

Scott looked around. "Um, what _monster_, Cadet Unibrow?"

Anne Maria shrugged. "I guess it got full by eating Jo. No big deal."

* * *

><p><strong>Brick:<strong> I will shed a tear for you, fallen soldier. May your act for the team never be forgotten!

**Scott:** Is everyone else here on this island crazy, or…?

* * *

><p>Chris shook his head. "Rather disappointed that nobody has found the me-head! It's really, really, really, really hot!"<p>

Dakota rolled her eyes. "Ugh, egotist!"

Chris shoved her away. "Quiet! This is my storytime!" He regained his composure. "Anyways, next time on **Revenge of the Island: The Chris Head Sagas**: will Dawn continue to charm the monster? Will Dakota be charmed by Sam? Will we ever see Jo again? Is Vito twenty million thousand times cooler than Mike? Tune in next time to find out!

* * *

><p><strong>c: C: c: C:<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Author:<strong> Well, the next episode – Finders Creepers – is nearly upon us! This four-part prologue will be wrapped up in time for it, no worries. Just out of curiosity, how would anyone feel if I differed from the regular eliminations in this story? Like change the results? It could be a poll-vote thing, that'd be cool! Please give feedback on that and anything else you'd like to see, pwease and gracias? c:

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa – T.D.


	4. Chapter 4

Dawn continued petting the monster, seemingly unaware that if was harmful.

"Dawn, we really should be getting to Scott," Sam said shakily.

At the sound of Scott's name, the monster perked up. It took a look at Sam and roared.

* * *

><p><strong>Sam<strong>: Not even monsters like Scott. Who could blame them?

* * *

><p>"Run!" Sam shouted as he and Dawn tore off, the monster hot on their trail.<p>

"Really, he doesn't seem particularly harmless," Dawn said calmly, apparently trying to make small talk.

Sam threw up his hands in frustration. "Maybe we can discuss about how great monsters are when we're not running! Least of all for our lives!" The monster was gaining on them, and they seemed to be going uphill. Panting, Sam asked, "Is it just me or are we going uphill?"

Dawn snapped her fingers. "Of course!"

"Of course we're going uphill? Because I'll just roll down!"

"No, silly! Of course a plan! Hurry!"

As Dawn and Sam reached the top of the cliff, Dawn pulled him back, exclaiming, "Stop!"

Had he kept going, he would've fallen off the cliff edge into the mutant-shark-infested waters below.

The monster, on the other hand, wasn't as lucky; unable to slow itself down in time, it fell clean off the edge. Peering over as it fell, Sam let out a low whistle.

* * *

><p><strong>Sam:<strong> That was brutal. But awesome! Yet so brutal. But so awesome! That thing was probably an armadillo or a platypus or Heather before it got mutated so bad.

* * *

><p>Chris glared angrily at Dakota, who was shaking her head and grinning sheepishly. "I tell you to scare the campers! I tell you to freak them out! And what do you do? Ruin my robot!"<p>

"Bitchy rich girl chick gonn' pay for Chef's new robot!" Chef exclaimed angrily. "I served in the war!"

Dakota rolled her eyes and peeled off the command suit for the robot. "Whatever! I got Jo at the very least, so don't be so angry at me."

* * *

><p><strong>Dakota:<strong> Chris is just overreacting. Daddy can fax him a check and everyone will be happy! Really, what problems _can't_ money solve?

* * *

><p>As Vito flexed his muscles, Cameron attempted to comfort Zoey. "Mike's a good guy, Zoey!"<p>

"Yeah? Well his comedy routines suck!" she replied harshly.

"Comedy routines?" Cameron asked in surprise.

* * *

><p><strong>Cameron:<strong> She must have interpreted Mike's multiple personalities as some sort of comedy routine! Me preferably, I wasn't allowed to watch much comedy in my bubble, but I sure do love Charlie Chaplin! I hope he's still making movies!

* * *

><p>"Babe," Vito said with swagger, "This ain't no routine! Vito ain't funny, Vito is <em>sexy<em>, you dig? Aiye if you don't dig Vito will just give you a shovel!"

* * *

><p><strong>Mike: <strong>'Give you a shovel'? Now this is why I hate Vito!

**Zoey:** 'Give you a shovel'? Mike is even worse than the guys back home!

* * *

><p>"I'd much rather bash you in the head with a shovel, jerk!" Zoey exclaimed as she stormed away.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Chris McLean:<strong> That is soooooo Total Drama Action! Way to be original, Zo!

* * *

><p>As Zoey stormed off, Mike spasmed and the next second, he looked around. "Um, what just happened? And where's Zoey?"<p>

"She believes you to be," Cameron started, "In scientific terms, a douchebag."

* * *

><p>Brick, Scott, Lightning, and Anne Maria walked back to camp.<p>

"What was up with that monster though?" Anne Maria asked, shivering in disgust.

"Probably Ezekiel," Brick calmly explained. "It's the least feral he's been in months!"

"Well, Lightning sure wasn't afraid of no monster!" Lighting said confidently. "Monsters are scared of me and my shaPOW!"

* * *

><p><strong>Scott:<strong> Being surrounded by Cadet Kelly, Snooki, and Dwayne Johnson truly makes me appreciate how much I hate everyone. It's going to make their downfalls so much more enjoyable.

* * *

><p>"There was no monster!" Scott said in exasperation. "You're all just crazy. Now let's go back to camp before that demonic woodpecker comes back for me."<p>

Anne Maria snickered. "Whatcha talkin' bout Scotty boy? I ain't see no woodpecker! There was no woodpecker!"

Brick chortled. "Where's this woodpecker of yours, Scott? Is it hiding with our monster?"

* * *

><p><strong>Brick:<strong> I was taught that it was rude to make fun of someone, but he was disrespecting my honor by besmirching my honest name. It's not as if I really wanted to mock him. Oh no.

* * *

><p>With a roll of his eyes, Scott asked in a lame impression of Brick, "Permission to continue to annoy everyone around me with my army talk, sir?"<p>

"Permission is not granted!" Brick angrily replied.

Lightning was laughing incredibly hard. "Guys, stop! Please! You're killing the Lightning!"

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning<strong>: Watching them fight? That's some quality entertainment! Why is Total Drama not a sitcom?

* * *

><p>The group of four finally strolled back in to camp as Dawn and Sam arrived. "Dudes, did you see that giant monster?" Sam questioned excitedly. "Dawn made it fall off the cliff! She was all like 'Come here monster, X-button, Y-button, A-B-button combo!' and the monster was all like 'Roarh ima falling my life points are at 0'!"<p>

"Aside from all of that technical mumbo jumbo, soldier," Brick started, "We did see that monster! It was mighty intimidating!"

"What about you mooks? Did you see that terrifying _woodpecker_?" Anne Maria asked, snickering at Scott.

"Actually, no," Dawn explained, "But the other birds informed me of Scott's predicament! You poor boy!"

Scott rolled his eyes. "Oh, thanks for the care."

"I bet that the warmth from the woodpecker's fire was more than you ever felt from your parents as a child."

* * *

><p><strong>Scott:<strong> You see her? She's gone. No, I'm not cradling myself. Yes, my parents loved me. Okay then.

* * *

><p>Mike and Cameron exchanged glances. "Sounds like you guys had interesting searches," Mike said.<p>

Anne Maria batted her eyelashes. "Why yes I did, Vito! I'd like you and me to do a bit of searching, if you -"

"My name's Mike…"

* * *

><p><strong>Mike:<strong> My name's Mike!

**Anne Maria:** Vito is cute! Don't fault a girl for tryna bag!

* * *

><p>Cameron peered around. "Where's Jo though?"<p>

"Jo?" Lightning wondered. "That really masculine dude with the girl hair?"

Zoey, stepping out of the cabin and ignoring Mike, explained, "Jo is a girl, Lightning."

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning:<strong> I think I know girls when I see them!

* * *

><p>As in answer to Cameron's question, Jo came falling down from the heavens, crashing down onto Scott, who cried out in pain.<p>

Everyone just formed a circle around them, linking arms and whistling the theme song.

"I hate you all…" they heard Scott mumble before he shifted into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p><strong>Jo:<strong> I am Jovincible!

* * *

><p>:Q :q<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Author:<strong> Well, that wraps up the prologue! I'll update again once I finally see _Finders Creepers_, which will probably be Friday. So until then, I Wanna Be Famous! I hope everyone is enjoying this story! :3

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa – T.D.


	5. Finders Creepers! Part 1!

The Mutant Maggots walked back to the cabins; Brick and Jo were eyeing each other angrily whilst the others walked on nervously.

"Wow," Cameron whispered to Zoey. "You could cut this tension with a knife!"

* * *

><p><strong>Brick:<strong> My honorable discharge from the Mutant Maggots and enlistment in the Toxic Rats changes nothing! I am still here to do the best that I can do and establish honor.

**Jo:** Without Brick, my team is useless! Puffball, Bubble Boy, Pasty, and the Walking Disaster! I'll need a new strategy. I'm still Jovincible!

* * *

><p>The Toxic Rats were waiting for them back at the cabins.<p>

Sam noticed something amiss. "Um, hey, I'm a tiny bit confused. Shouldn't one of you, uh, not be here?"

Scott eyed them with suspicion. "Are you guys cheating or something? I won't take cheating!"

* * *

><p><strong>Scott: <strong>Except, of course, I'm the one cheating!

* * *

><p>As Brick was about to speak, Jo interrupted. "Well, McLean decided that it would be more fair to <em>enlist<em> G.I. Joke with your team instead of eliminate him."

"What?" Lightning asked in exasperation. "Lightning don't need some has-been! Lightning carries this team! ShaLightning!"

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning:<strong> Chris McLean thinks that we need some other dude to win? ShaNo! Lightning has got all he needs in his muscles! Victory is imminent!

**Scott:** Hmm, new guy, huh? I'll need to figure out some way to bring him down…

* * *

><p>The rest of the Toxic Rats moved to welcome Brick to the team. Shaking Brick's hand, Sam said, "Uh, forget Lightning. He'll grow on you. Welcome to the team."<p>

"Thank you, sir!" Brick replied with a salute.

"Pleased that you could join us! Your aura is ripe with readiness!" Dawn said.

"Um," Brick commented, "Thank you?"

Scott didn't say anything, but merely nodded in acknowledgement.

* * *

><p><strong>Brick:<strong> Well, they might not be my ideal team, but beggars can't be choosers. At least I'm not eliminated!

* * *

><p>"Well, I see this as a new chapter for the Mutant Maggots!" Jo cried triumphantly, ignoring the Toxic Rats angrily glaring at her. "That loss will be our only one! We've purged the weak link from the team!"<p>

Anne Maria shook her head. "Brick may be attractive in no way whatsoever, but he's still a person! And he was our friend!"

Mike nodded. "Yeah! He was a real asset to our team. We'll probably suck without him. Right, Zo?"

"Just don't talk to me," Zoey said angrily, walking into her cabin.

"Was it something I said?" Mike asked questioningly.

"Let it be," Cameron replied. With a shake of his head at Jo, he went in after Zoey.

* * *

><p><strong>Mike<strong>: I just knew that Vito would mess things up for me!

**Zoey:** He still acts like he cares, but he's just like all of the other guys! Why'd I even bother… Falling in love sucks.

**Cameron:** I'm trying to help Mike and Zoey, but both of them are standing in each other's way! I'll be sure to document this. It can't be creepy to analyze your roommate's sleeping patterns and record them in a pad, now can it?

* * *

><p>"Stop being such a… a <em>Jo<em> all the time!" Anne Maria yelled at Jo.

Feigning a feeling of offense, Jo countered, "Oh, but Tan! Your approval means so much to me!"

Rolling up her sleeves, Anne Maria growled, "I'm done with you!"

Mike held her back, however. "Anne Maria! She isn't worth it!"

"Mike!" Anne Maria said, instantly distracted from Jo. With a bat of her eyelashes, she added, "Or should I say, Vito!"

"Um…"

"If you want, we could go back to your cabin and Vito things up," Anne Maria whispered.

"Well!" Mike said, slightly sweaty and clearly awkward. "Um, I'm going to go talk to Brick now! So uh…"

Watching Mike flail, run away awkwardly, fall on his face, gracefully shoot up singing the praises of Svetlana, and prance over to the others, Jo shook her head, saying, "_Men_."

* * *

><p><strong>Anne Maria:<strong> Jo might be wrong about literally _everything_, but men, sheesh! That's one thing she can't be wrong with.

**Mike:** Anne Maria is making me slightly nervous. I haven't have a girl that wasn't my mom pay me that much attention! Um, I didn't just say that on national television. Never mind. Okay, bye.

* * *

><p>Sam welcomed Brick into the Toxic Rats' guys cabin. Scott silently followed them in, leaving Lightning and Dawn talking about something or other.<p>

Pointing to a bottom bunk, Sam said, "And that's where you'll be sleeping. But, uh, I'm sure you'll have your pick soon enough. We seem to be getting a lot of open seats here."

Brick patted him on the back reassuringly. "Don't worry, soldier! It's just a few.. uh… three consecutive losses and eliminations that um, happen to be the only eliminations this season… and you started off with more contestants than the Maggots.. um… well, it's not like you'll lose the next one!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sam:<strong> Wow, he really knows how to cheer a fella up. I sure do love new roomies.

* * *

><p>Svetlana pranced over to Lightning and Dawn. "Hello from Svetlana! What is on the hip and haps, ya?"<p>

Lighting waved his hand. "Quiet, awkward but graceful lady child! Weird girl was just telling me that there's meat _without_ meat! What is this mystery substance called again?"

"It's called tofu!" Dawn said matter-of-factly.

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning:<strong> Tofu! It just sounds manly! I need to get my hands on some of that stuff!

* * *

><p>"And there's protein?" Lightning asked, on the edge of his seat.<p>

"Plenty!"

"ShaTOFU!" Lightning exclaimed, jumping into the air.

"Jumping competition, ya? Don't worry! Olympic gold-medal jumper, Svetlana, is up to the plate!" Svetlana exclaimed, leaping high into the air.

"Your Svetlana aura is really shining brightly, Mike!" Dawn cooed.

* * *

><p><strong>Mike:<strong> Really, Dawn? Who would've thought it.

* * *

><p>Observing the interaction alongside Anne Maria, Jo commented, "It'd be useful if he could do the Svetlana thing all the time."<p>

"Or Vito," Anne Maria replied dreamily.

"You and your men things," Jo said with disgust.

* * *

><p><strong>Jo:<strong> I can't have my girls falling in love! Love does not win competitions, steroids win competitions! And since I've got none of that, I'll use manipulation instead!

**Anne Maria:** Vito is a GOD! Jo better watch her mouth, I oughta…

Cameron walked in to the cabin. "Um, Zoey, are you all right?"

* * *

><p>Zoey wiped a tear from her eye. "Yeah, Cam. Stellar."<p>

"Don't mind the whole Mike-Vito thing," Cameron said, sitting next to her on the bed. "He's crazy for you! He just, uh, has some trouble showing it sometimes."

"So you mean he's awkward?"

"Why not? Um, I mean yes, very awkward."

* * *

><p><strong>Cameron:<strong> Awkward people for the win?

* * *

><p>Q-q-Q-q-Q-q-Q-q<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Author:<strong> Well, this is that and that is this! Mwahahaha! So anyways, I'm intending to use this arc to give reason to Scott's reasons in _Backstabbers Ahoy!_ I mean, he just didn't come up with that in one episode. He clearly told me the events in the hopes I'd write this.

On a more serious note, readers, important question time! Opinions on veering from the official story? Changing eliminations? Relationships? Please feed me your ideas, little readers!

Hope to update soon!

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa – T.D.


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